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How to Stay Happy and Avoid The Dark Side

The Dark SideFor the last couple of weeks I have been struggling.

I thought I had it sorted, I thought the extra work load was helping me to get more done. It did help me to eliminate the time wasters and only focus on my priorities but there were a lot of negative aspects too. I was thrown into a stressful situation, conflict every day, working with people who complain first and listen later, It wasn’t a happy environment and to my shame I brought the stress and negativity home . My patience worn thin, I had none left for my family.

Tired, stressed and depleted of energy I stepped over to “The Dark Side”

Negative energy surrounded me, self pity and blame were my prominent emotions. I felt powerless, the situation was out of my control. I shifted the blame for my bad behavior, as I was a victim of circumstance.

Whoa stop right there! – yes it’s true I didn’t take responsibility for my own actions and the reality was I felt it wasn’t my fault. For about a week, I wallowed.

But of course you know what I really believe, I believe that I am in control of my life, that my behavior and my attitude are the things I do have complete control over. But the problem is, once you go over to the dark side the negative energy prevents you from seeing the truth.

The Dark forces cloud your vision and feed your negative vibes, there is some twisted pleasure in getting reinforcement that everything is bad, difficult and beyond your control. I was a prisoner for a short while but then.

I stopped.

I decided enough was enough, but as you know it’s not that easy, the Dark Forces don’t want you to leave, once they have you there they will try to convince you not to leave and the negative feelings prevent you from feeling the peace, love and joy that you know is just beyond the dark cloud that follows you around.

This is how I broke free:

I started by trying to convince myself that things were better than they were, but that didn’t work because I didn’t feel it. After a few failed attempts I realized my error. I was feeding the bad energies by giving them a home. What you focus on get’s stronger, “That which you feed will grow”.

Focus on What you Want

If you focus on car problem, financial worries, work problems etc then that becomes your life but if you shift into the light, and all that you focus on is positive and uplifting then this will become your truth.

I have a healthy family, I have freedom of speech and movement, I have wonderful friends, I have my strength, my sight and my health. The wonders of these things far outweigh the negativity of the dark forces. My list can go on as did my 8 year old’s the other day.

The Happiness List

In a bad mood and feeling sorry for himself one evening I shared my recently employed wisdom with him. Write a list of all the things that make you happy and all the things you like. He decided to do it verbally. The list was long, it was so long in fact that I was highly irritated by the time I forced him to finish, His list included all the things you would expect from a 8 year old, like football, tennis, his Nintendo D.S. and ice cream but it also include the stairs and the chair and numerous other inanimate objects. The exercise reminded me that we can find good in most objects and most situations, If you were in a prison cell, the sight of stairs and a chair might brighten your day.

So the lesson today is to focus on the good in life, no matter how much darkness there may be in your life, cling on to the parts that hold beauty, truth and light. Don’t feed the bad energy, just like Peter Pan needed happy thoughts to fly we too need our happy thoughts to make this world and our lives a better place.

“If on the light side you focus, then happier you will be” Ciara Conlon (inspired by Yoda)

15 Responses to “How to Stay Happy and Avoid The Dark Side”

  1. Jen says:

    SO true and brilliant to read. Bravo! :)
    Jen recently posted…The big Copyright…My Profile

  2. Ciara says:

    Thanks Jen, glad you enjoyed it.
    Ciara recently posted…How to Stay Happy and Avoid The Dark SideMy Profile

  3. Tricia says:

    That was a good read Ciara and so true!

  4. Ciara says:

    Thanks Tricia, I’m focusing on the sunshine this morning !
    Ciara recently posted…3 Crucial Lessons How To Get Stuff Done When Time Is ScarceMy Profile

  5. Kaylee says:

    I definitely need to remember to look at the bright side as I go through some major transitions soon. There’s a lot of chaos, but also a lot of beautiful blessings to be found through the whole thing. Thanks for the reminder. =)
    Kaylee recently posted…One Tab at a Time: 7 Tips to Browse the Web More MindfullyMy Profile

  6. Ciara says:

    Good Luck with the changes Kaylee and keep focusing on the positive outcomes, remember the challenging bits will be the bits that make you stronger and more interesting !
    Ciara recently posted…3 Crucial Lessons How To Get Stuff Done When Time Is ScarceMy Profile

  7. Bobbi Emel says:

    Ciara, I love the Yoda interpretation!

    Your son is a living example of how, if we choose, we can be happy about just about anything.

    Thanks so much for sharing this!
    Bobbi Emel recently posted…Introvert? Extravert? 3 reasons why you need to knowMy Profile

  8. Ciara says:

    Thanks Bobbi, I learn so much from my little men when I open myself to the lessons, I must buy them all a gratitude journal, hopefully happiness and gratitude will come naturally to them when the reach our age!
    Ciara recently posted…7 Tips for Personal Productivity – Interview with Krishna DeMy Profile

  9. Amit says:

    This is great Ciara! It seems so counter-intuitive that “That which you feed will grow” (at least to me), but every time in my life I’ve tried eliminating a problem by focusing on it, only when I focused on its opposite has the problem disappeared.

    Lucky Kid – gratitude is a great skill to be taught at a young age!
    Amit recently posted…How Grateful Are You? Interactive Quiz + Seven Strategies for Cultivating GratitudeMy Profile

  10. Darn, just tried to post a comment but it disappeared!
    I guess I’ll skip most of it now, and just say that I’m glad you were able to move out the the dark side fairly quickly. I read a quote this morning that summed this all up:
    “The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but your thoughts about it.” –Eckhart Tolle
    Thanks for another reminder that it is within my power to step into the light!
    Sarah | Holistic Hot Sauce recently posted…A Roundup of The Best Of The Web On Radiant Health, Dream Grabbing & WDSMy Profile

  11. Ciara says:

    That’s a great quote Sarah, Eckhart Tolle always has great things to say. I was speaking to my neice today about stress and worry and saying the same thing. Worry is so futile because we are creating negative scenarios in our head about the future, so why not change those possibilities into exciting positive ones! Staying in the Light !
    Ciara recently posted…How to Stay Happy and Avoid The Dark SideMy Profile

  12. Anne Watson says:

    Hi Ciara,

    I love your posts and your honesty in your struggle to get over the obstacles of worry and negativity and share your solutions with the rest of us how to come back into the light.

    It really helps me when I can relate to the fact that I am not the only one with the ups and downs of daily life.

    Thanks

    Anne

  13. Ciara says:

    Thanks Anne great to know it makes a difference.

  14. Rhys Daniell says:

    Here’s a way of looking at that which has been very helpful to me:

    “If you’re worried about something it’s because you’re thinking about the problem, not the solution”

  15. Declan Dunne says:

    You always were the smartest and brightest in the year.
    Great little article

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