“You are the author of your own biography” Robin Sharma
It’s that time of the year, time to plan the next chapter of your life. What choices are you going to make this year to create the life you want to live?
After my third son was born I was in a bad place. When I look back now I realise that I probably had post natal depression. A constant dull feeling in my chest, the simplest tasks a chore. The strongest emotion I felt at that time was self-pity. Why didn’t anyone see how difficult my life was? I wasted so much time wallowing, waiting on others to take away my pain and bring me happiness, but we all know that never happens. Happiness is not something someone else can give us.
I’m not one for regrets but I realise now that I didn’t enjoy a period in my life which should have been full of joy and laughter. The exhaustion of having two small children close together took over my logic, prevented me from seeing that it was up to me to change my life and to create my own happiness. Now some will say it’s easier said than done, if you are not feeling happy how do you miraculous turn the corner and start being happy. Here’s how.
A Change in Perspective
I regularly say that it was productivity that changed my life, that learning how to organise my day and my mind allowed me to be able to focus on the right things. It enabled me to finally get things done and complete many achievements. But the truth is it happened earlier than that. It was probably a series of small events which added up to make the biggest impact and all those small changes helped to put me back at the helm.
One morning many years ago I woke with a dark cloud, I felt like I couldn’t cope, it’s difficult to explain or to admit that I felt no joy and everything revolved around my misery . My eldest son probably only 10 at the time asked me what was up? I told him that I had to get the boys dressed and bring them out for a walk to work off some of their energy but I didn’t have the energy to do it. He said “It’s not that you have to Mom, it’s because you want to, it’s your decision and you know it will make your life easier” Initially I was overwhelmed with emotion, at his wisdom, he had hit the proverbial nail on the head. Everything in life is a choice and those choices have consequences. Why is it that we regularly make the choices that we know will end up with results we don’t want? Like eating lots of chocolate or drinking that extra glass of wine? That day my choice was to go out and get exercise to make us all feel better and it worked.
The Next Phase
That moment was a turning point in my life at that time, it was the slap in the face that I needed. The switch that needed to be flicked, from that moment on things started to change. It didn’t happen overnight, it was simply the first step of a journey, but the realisation that everything I do is my choice had a major impact on my future life.
I took action and went to a homeopath who helped me with the depression. Little by little I made changes in my habits which helped to make my life easier and it wasn’t long after this that I found a course in life and Business coaching which led to the life I’m living today. A life that I chose.
It’s Alright for Her….
I know many people think in some way I’m privileged that I was lucky to end up doing a job that I love but what they don’t’ realise is there has been many years of heartache, financial debt and hard work that I had to endure to get me to where I am. My life has been far from easy and even now if I were to allow myself to focus on the problems in my life, my life would be not be perfect. I could chose to spend my days focusing on the debts from failed businesses I still have to pay or the fact that I still have lots I want to achieve. I could get upset when my boys shout and fight and leave their toys and clothes lying around but I have learned to focus on the positive, to realise that I have everything I need. And the times that I do feel frustrated or angry because my two youngest are screaming and wresting around our sitting room in our small open plan town house, my husband reminds me to focus on the laughter and the fact that they are healthy and strong. Together we chose gratitude.
Life is a series of choices; you can choose to see light or to see darkness. You can choose joy or sadness. I chose that day, I chose to make an effort to see joy. Thanks to my clever little boy, the same boy who once gave me a box of smiles for my birthday helped me to see the truth. He showed me that my life was in my hands.
What will you choose for 2013?
So what are you going to do in 2013? How would you like your life to be different? What new habits would you like to create or bad habits would you like to break? It’s possible for anyone to make changes and you can do it by setting goals and creating new positive habits to support those changes.
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